1 Aur Galti......!!

Once upon a time in Delhi.......
 

Hum 7 log " Me(Nagar) , Kapil, Gaurav, Honey, Junaid, Anil, Shivi" ek hi office me sath kam krte the humara roj ka kam tha sath me rehna ek dusre ke sath lunch krna aur ek dusre ki tang khichna humari dosti time ke sath bohot majboot ho gai thi par hum ek dusre ko sirf last 2 ya 3  months se hi jante the.

Hum aisi hi ek din lunch kr rahe the sath baith ke achanak se Junaid bolo "Yaar maja nai aa raha roj ki same life wahi daily routine life jhand ho gai hai, Kuch excited sa hona chahiye life me."
fir ek dum Shivi bola "Bhen chod sahi keh raha h jindagi ki maa chudi padi h roj ka wahi randi rona office aao fir wapas ghar bus."

Aur Anil Chup Chap khane me laga tha Tabhi Gaurav bola "Gand mare tu bus lunch hi thusta rahiyo"
Aur sab hasne lage.......... Tabhi Kapil bola" Yr kuch alag krte h koi trip decide krte h " ek dum Honey bola"Ha bhai sahi keh raha hai " Ye sunte hi Gaurav bola "Bhai kahin bhi chalo iske liye banana ka juice jrur le lena aur karele ke samose bhi.."  Achanak se Kapil bola"Gaurav tu  Paneer ka rayta bhul gaya. " ye sunkar  Honey bola"ha bhen ke lodo lo me khol leta hu tum meri marlo" aur fir sab hasne lage...

Fir Kapil bola"Par yar bat to sahi h kahin to chalte hi h." Aur Junaid ne idea diya " Yar aisi jagah jate h jaha shanti ho aur hum khul ke enjoy kr sake" Me bola "Hiking pe chalte h,"     Kapil bola"Goa Chalte h. " Tabhi Shivi bola "kyun na jungle me chale waha hume koi disturb bhi nai krega aur hum khulke enjoy bhi krenge sath me koi restriction lagane wala bhi nai hoga" Aur Anil bola "Bhai jungle me sher hote h me to nai jaunga"  tabhi Gaurav bola "bhosdi ke last time bhi teri gand mar rahi thi bhangarh jane me aur aab fir tu nautanki chod raha h " Honey bhi bol pada"Bhai Anil Sahi to keh raha h jungle me jungli janwar hi hote h " fir junaid bola"Bhosdike koi janwar teri gand nai marega chinta mat kr " Aur hum sabne jungle jana decide kiya ...

Hum sabne next month jane ka plan bnaya aur sabne 1 week ki chuti le li.........

((1 month later )).....

Ab vo din aa gaya jab hume trip pe nikalna tha aur sab log time pe aa gye the par as usual me aaj bhi late ho gaya Gaurav aur baki dost gadi me mera wait kr rahe the me 15 minute late waha pohoncha sabne mujhe bohot gaali sunai aur humne gadi me kuch 2 peeti beer rakhi aur baki hmare khane ka saman aur hum subha karib 1 bje ke aas pass waha se nikal gaye....

Shivi ne ek bottle khol li aur peene laga Honey bola" bhosdike abhi se hi shuru ho gaya waha tak to tu sari khtm kr dega" Sivi bola "Bhag bhosdike mera baap banne ki kosis mt kr meri marji me kitni bhi piyu aaghe aur le lenge. " Aur sab haste rahe......

Hum karib 5 ghante ki drive aur hum sabki bakchodi ke bad jungle ke kone pe  ja pohonche waha se ek kacha rasta tha jo jungle ke andar ja raha tha aur humne gadi andar ghusa di kuch dur jane ke bad rasta bilkul shant ho gaya aur Anil bola"Bhai sher aa gaya to " . Me bola"to kya hum teri gand usse offer kr denge " aur fir sab hasi majak krne lage...  ab shyam hone lagi aur andhera badhne laga fir humne socha ki yahi camping krte h Aur gaadi side me lagake humne apna camp laga diya....

Hum sab baithe ek dum Anil bola"Bhai kahin sheer na aa jaye " Ye sunke gaurav bola "sheer tere jaise gandu ko nai khayega tu tnsn mt le" Aur fir sabne ek-ek beer ki bottle utha li tabhi Gaurav bola"Honey ye daaru h tera banana ka juice nai h "  Tabhi honey bola"I know that."  Aur fir Gaurav bola"Ohh really gud I dont know that you know this thing." Fir kapil bola"Anil tere piche dekh" Aur Anil uchal ke piche muda to Junaid uske piche se lakdi laga raha tha aur Anil bola "Bhen ke lode waise hi gand fat rahi h tu aur meri gand me lakdi daal le" Aur Anil Junaid ke piche bhagne laga usse marne ke liye aur fir Shivi ne kahaa"Baith ja bhen ke lode hume pata h kitna dum h teri gand me" Jaise hi anil baithne laga achanak se ek pathar ake laga hmari gadi ke back glass me aur gadi ka glass chatak gaya hum chilaye kon bhen ka loda apni maa chuda raha h par koi response nai aya fir humne apni torch utahayi aur dekhne gaye...

Par waha koi nai tha par humara mood khrab ho gaya kyunki 5000 ka bill fat gaya tha humare nam aur humne kuch kiya bhi nai hum wapas ake baithe aur fir beer peeni suru krdi aur Shivi bola "Agar koi bhen ka loda gadi ke aas pass dikha to uski maa chod dunga" Karib 10 minute ho gaye aur humm sab apni backchodi me lage pade the tabhi achanak Anil bola "Bhai vo koi bhoot to nai tha????"  Honey bola "Ha bhen ke lode bhoot ki gand me chull h na jo gaadi me pathar marega, koi bandar wandar hoga"  Fir me bola "Anil bachke rahiyo bandar teri gand na marle" Aur sab hasne lage.. Aur humne decide kiya ki sab contribute krke glass lagwa lenge aur sab man gaye.Fir hum sub ne ek ek beer ki bootle aur utha li aur fir se peeni start kr di ab humne time dekha to kuch 9 baj rahe the to humne socha ki aas pass me ghum lete hai thoda sa aur hum ghumne lage tabhi Shivi bola "Dekh Anil tere peeche kon h???" Anil ne ek dum ghabra ke dekha to waha koi nai tha Anil bola"Bhai kyun gand fad raha h" Kapil bola "Teri to chuhe ko bhi dekhke fat jat h ye to fir bhi jungle h " Junaid bola"Ha bhai sahi keh raha h"  karib 1 ghante tak ghumne ke bad humm apne camp me ja pohonche aur subha se itna travel krne ki wajah se hum thak bhi gaye the to sab sone lage lekin achanak se hume bohot tezz awaj sunai di jaise ki kuch blast hua ho aur fir hum sab camp se bahar nikle humne dekha par waha pe kuch bhi nai tha ek dum se Anil bola "Bhai attank wadi aa gye " Tabhi Gaurav bola "Ha  bhen ke lode teri gand me attank machane aye h na vo" achanak se Honey bola" Mujhe to lagta h koi bhoot voot to nai aa gaya " Ye sunke Kapil bola"bhen ke lodo apni budhi mt chalao chalke dekhte h akhir kiss ki gand me itna dum h jo hume pareshan kr raha h" aur hum sab aghe badhne lage Humne dekha ki thodi si aghe jake jamin me ek bada hole sa bana hua h Honey bola"Bhai ye dharti ke andar jane ka rasta h "  Gaurav bola "Ha Gand mare ye rasta narak me jane ka h" Tabhi Anil bola"Bhai big foot aa gaya  "  Tabhi Shivi bola "Tu bachke rahiyo kahin teri gand na marle"  Anil Bola "gand ke pudino ye thk hai har koi ake meri hi gand marega jaise ye meri gand na hui sunny leone ki gand ho gai" Gaurav bola"Bhosdike tu kaha  Aur sunny leone kaha...." Tabhi kapil bola" oo sunny leone ke aashiq chup ho ja" tabhi me bola "oo bak lando apna dimag mt lagao ye socho ye hua kaise?? " Shivi bola "Chalo apne aaas pass dekhte h akhir kon ye sab kr raha h"  aur hum sab idhar udah dekhne lage fir thodi aghe hume ek kuan(well) dikha aur hum uske andar jhank ke dekhne lage par andar andhera tha to Shivi ne phone ka flash on kiya to andar se kuan khali tha usme sirf 1 board pada tha aur usme likha tha "ye jagah shrapit h yaha rukna mna h " aur vo ek government board tha par Shivi ne vo bat sirf mujhe batiyo aur hum 2no ne decide kiya ki aur kisi ko  nai  batayenge kyunki humare sath subha se bohot kuch ajeeb ho chuka tha aur hum sub fir wapas jake so gaye...

Ratko karib 3 bje Anil utha aur usne mujhe jagaya bola "bhai chal mutne chalte h " mene kaha"bhag bhosdike ja moot aa" aur me fir se so gaya Anil ne fir mujhe jagaya aur bola"Dekh Gaurav kisse bat kr raha h akele akele " fir mene uthke dekha to Gaurav akela khada kuch bol raha tha aur jaise hi mene kaha"Gaurav kya kr raha h??" To vo mujhe dekhke chup ho gya aur bola"Kuch bhi to nai me to yaha mutne aya tha " Anil bola"Nai tu kisi se bat kr raha tha " Gaurav bola"bhosdike tu bhi bol ab "  Anil bola "gali mt de bhen chod " Fir Gaurav Anil ko marne bhaga to mene dono ko alag kiya aur hum teeno fir camp me jake so gaye.........

Subha meri ankh khuli to camp me koi nai tha me bahar nikal ke aya to Shivi ne btaya "ki nagar bhai Anil kahin nai mil raha pta nai kaha chala gaya " fir mene pucha "Gaurav kahaa h??" Tab Gaurav piche se nikal ke aya aur bola"bhai peeche koi nai h" mene Gaurav se pucha" Anil  kaha h??" Gaurav bola"mujhe kya pata bhosdika kaha gand mara raha h" Sivi bola "bhai vo gayb h" mene kaha "Bhai Gaurav ratko Anil ko marne ki dhamki de raha tha aur ab vo gayb h" gaurav bola"To iska matlb mene usse gayb kr diya "  me bola "saaale tu hi keh raha tha nahi chodunga tujhe " Gaurav bola"Bhai vo to mene ghusse me bola tha " Honey bola "Ab tum dono mat lado" gaurav bola "Tu to chup hi reh bhen ke lode. Tujhe bhi Anil Pasand nai tha ho skta h tune hi gayab kiya ho" Honey bola"Teri maa ki ab sab kuch mujh pe dal rahe ho mujhe to lagta h gaurav tune hi usse gayb kiya hai.." Gaurav bola"Reason to btaao akhir usse gayb krke mujhe kya milega " Itne me junaid bola"Bhai ye waqt apas me ladne ka nahi h balki hume sath milke Anil ko dhundhna chahiye" Tabhi Shivi bola "Ye sahi keh raha h Anil ko dhundhte hai" aur hum sab ass pass me Anil ko dhundhne lage...    Ab hume kuch 3-4 ghante ho gaye the usse dhundhte hue par hume kuch bhi nai pata chala aur ab dhoop bhi bohot ho gayi thi kyunki din ke 1 baj chuke the fir humne socha kuch khake usse dhundhenge to hum camp wapas aye aur khana khane ki tayari krne lage aur Honey bola"Mujhe to lagta h gaurav ne usse mar diya  h" Aur Shivi bola"Chup ho jao hum sab dost h aise ek dusre pe ungli uthate hue ache nai lagte" aur fir sab khana khane lage..

Khana khane ke bad sab usse fir dhundhne nikle kuch 3 baj rahe the uss time.to Shivi bola"hum 2 group banake jayenge 1 group me Me, Nagar, aur Kapil  aur 2re group me Junaid, Gaurav aur honey" Tabhi Gaurav bola"Me iss bhosdike ke saath nai jaunga" Honey bola"Mujhe bhi tere jaise madarchod ke sath jane ka shok nai h" Ek dum Junaid bola"Me bhi Honey bhosdi wale ke sath nai jaunga " Fir me bola"Ab teri gand me kya khujli h" Tabhi Honey bola"Iski gand mar li na mene isliye nai jayega  " Tabhi junaid bola"Isne meri gf chin li ye dost kehlane ke layk hi nai h" tabhi Honey bola"Vo ladki hi mere pass ayi thi jab tere land me dum nai tha to mujhse hi chudegi" Me bola"Vo ladki hi rand thi usse meri bhi chali thi" Junaid bola"Acha to teri bhi chali thi tu bhi inhi ki trah h" Tabhi Kapil bola" Chup ho jayo bhen ke lodo Anil ko dhundhna h apni backchodi band kro " Junaid bola"Kuch bhi karo me Honey ke sath nai jaunga "to me bola "chal thk h Honey humare sath jayega tum Shivi ko le jao" aur sab man gaye humne kaha ki sab 7 bje camp ke samne hi milenge. Aur sab Anil ko dhundhne nikal pade....

Me, Honey aur Kapil dhundhne lage thodi aghe tak chalne ke bad Kapil bola"Vaise Honey tune acha nai kiya Junaid ki gf ko patake" Honey bola"Bhai vo khud ayi thi" Kapil fir bola"Par fir bhi tu to dost h na junaid ka tu to sochta ki junaid ko pta chalega top vo kya sochega"  Me bola"Ye bat junaid ko bhi sochni chahiye thi jab vo meri gf ko le gaya " kapil bolo"Bhai tu bichme apne aap ko mat la to hi jyada better hoga hume pata h tune kitni bandiyan ghumayi h" Me bola" Bhai tujhe koi right nai h meri life me interfare krne ka me kitni bhi bandi ghumaun teri gand kyun sulag rahi h" Kapil bola"bhen chod aundhin bat mt kr tujhe dekhke kyun kilsunga " Honey bola"ab lado mat  " tabhi me bola"ab saale tu samjhayega hume ki hum kya kare" ek dum kapil bola"Lado mat samne dekho ye ghar kiska h??"
Honey bola"Bhai ye to bohot purana sa h " Me bola"Chal dekhte h akhir andar kya h?? " Honey bola" Nai yr mene bohot movies me dekha aise gharon ke andar hi bhoot hote h" Kapil bola"Tu hamesha darta hi rahiyo" me bola"Honey tu bahar hi ruk me aur kapil andar jake dekhte h akhir ye ghar h kiska?" aur me aur kapil andar chale gaye aur Honey bahar hi khada tha......

Hum andar ja pohonche aur andar se vo ghar kuch jyada hi bada lag raha tha aur itne dino se band hone ki wajah se waha bohot andhera bhi tha kuch ajeeb si smell bhi aa rahi thi jaise ki koi janwar mara hua ho aur hum 2no ne socha ki alag alag jake ghar me dekhte h ki kya h... to kapil upper chala gaya aur me niche hi rooms check krne laga.. mene pehle room me dekha to waha kuch ajeeb sa samaan tha jaise koi 30-40 saal pehle ka samaan ho aur sab bohot ganda tha aur har taraf makdi ke jaale lage hue the fir me aghe badha to bathroom me gate nai tha mene andar dekha to waha 1 bath tub pada tha vo bohot ganda tha aur kuch jagahon se tuta bhi hua tha achanak kisike chikhne ki awaj ayi aur me bhagta hua bahar aya to waha par koi nai tha me chilaya "Honey tu Kaha h?" ab Honey kahin dikh nai raha tha.......
To Be Continue............